Learning to Forgive: Releasing Past Resentments and Hurt

Published on December 11, 2025

by Brenda Stolyar

Welcome readers, today we will explore the concept of forgiveness, specifically learning to forgive and release past resentments and hurt. In life, we all experience pain and hurt at some point. These experiences can leave us feeling bitter, resentful, and carrying a heavy emotional burden. However, forgiveness is a powerful tool that can help us let go of these negative feelings and move forward in our lives. So, let us delve deeper into the process of learning to forgive.Learning to Forgive: Releasing Past Resentments and Hurt

The Importance of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not just about letting go of grudges and anger towards others, but it is also about finding peace within ourselves. When we hold onto hurt and resentment, it not only affects our mental and emotional well-being but can also manifest as physical symptoms. Studies have shown that forgiveness leads to reduced stress levels, improved cardiovascular health, and a stronger immune system. It also allows us to break free from the past and open up to new experiences and relationships.

The Challenge of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not an easy process, as it requires us to let go of our ego and pride. We may feel that by forgiving someone, we are condoning their actions or letting them off the hook. However, forgiveness is not about justifying wrongdoings but about freeing ourselves from the chains of resentment. It also does not mean that we have to reconcile with the person who hurt us or continue to maintain a relationship with them. It is a journey of healing and self-discovery.

Steps to Learning Forgiveness

Step 1: Acknowledge Your Pain

The first step towards forgiveness is acknowledging the pain caused by the person or situation that hurt us. This pain may be in the form of anger, sadness, or disappointment. It is essential to allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment or resistance. Suppressing our feelings only prolongs the healing process and can lead to unresolved issues in the future.

Step 2: Understand the Other Perspective

Often, we hold onto resentment and anger because we do not understand why the other person acted the way they did. However, trying to understand their perspective can help us see the situation in a different light. It does not mean that we have to justify their actions, but it allows us to see that everyone is human and makes mistakes. This understanding can help us find empathy and compassion, which are crucial elements in forgiveness.

Step 3: Release Blame and Anger

Blaming the other person or ourselves for what happened only keeps us stuck in the cycle of hurt and resentment. We need to release blame and anger to move towards forgiveness. This can be achieved through self-reflection, therapy, or talking to a trusted friend or family member. Writing a letter to the person who hurt us, without the intention of sending it, can also be a helpful tool in releasing these emotions.

Step 4: Practice Self-Compassion

Forgiveness also requires us to be compassionate towards ourselves. We may feel guilty or ashamed for holding onto resentment and may blame ourselves for not being able to forgive. However, it is important to remember that forgiveness is a process and takes time. We need to be patient and kind to ourselves, just as we would be towards a friend or loved one going through a similar experience.

Step 5: Let Go and Move On

Once we have gone through the process of acknowledging, understanding, and releasing, we need to let go and move on. This means making a conscious decision to forgive and release the past. It does not mean that we will completely forget what happened, but it means that we are no longer holding onto it as a source of pain and resentment. This step allows us to find closure and move forward with a lighter heart.

In Conclusion

Learning to forgive and release past resentments and hurt is a journey that requires honesty, vulnerability, and self-compassion. It is not an easy process, but it is a necessary one for our emotional, mental, and physical well-being. Forgiveness allows us to let go of the burden of past hurt and open up to a happier and more fulfilling present and future. So, let us take the first step towards forgiveness and experience the freedom that comes with it.